Blue,green veins

2008-11-29T17:04:00.007+08:00

i hate the condition i am in--and i meant,everything.EVERYTHING
one bad thing about living on the 13th floor with floor to ceiling windows is that the sun really gets in.it's so fucking hot all afternoon now.

i accidentally napped now while reading a book and woke up with my left arm sore and my eyeballs feels kinda funny.

thirdly,my morning was spoilt because i need to clean the house for the shit that my sister and her friend did.all the hair all over her bedroom.i srsly think she and her friend have some serious hair loss problem.they must be balding so bad.

the stupid toy that my mum bought for the little rascal emits an irritating high pitched sound all over the house and really the high pitched sound is making me nutty when im already nuts.
will the people around me just shut up and dont barge in my room like that???
sighs...

okay.i think it's just the hot weather.i better stick my head in a fridge.

***
okay okay.no.actually i just wonder when was the last time i sincerely laughed at something funny.

2008-11-20T22:11:00.008+08:00

:)) happily watching youtube. amirrr

2008-11-18T18:27:00.020+08:00

feast for the eyes

when assessment is over,this is what i do when you think that you got your hand over time and not the other way round anymore.

assessment was okay.but it was after assessment that i felt that i finally could feel happy again when jeanne talk to me... ...thank you...my head was spinning when i let it all out :(( but i know...i dont feel that way anymore.2008 is the suckiest year ever for me.i hope to fuck it all and get my ass down quickly to 2009.

19th november
hmm..and so i got a definite D for hist essay..i am just very lousy in writing critical essays.what is wrong with me? :'/ sighs...btw,work was awesome.awesome when your friends are around working tgt with you...it feels like it's not a JOB that u're doing.but more like a volunteer thing that u get paid for XD when i was conscious,i was at some place,and 2 giggly girls came down to give me Death Magnetic.they were shy and stuff but i found it really sweet.i was lit up instantly.then i hung around,i dunno for what--it's almost a circle;and what i got was a secret letter.but i'm satisfied so i went home. i want her hair.so bad :/
so that's my day.how's yours?

2008-11-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

ok.my hands are really aching from typing a long ass email to Miri.and now i am going to watch Starwars Episode 4- HAHAHA- with ribena and tuna and cheese sandwich,just the way i always eat late night snacks.i am enjoying my after exam relaxation and so are you.too bad for other people who arent.you have to go through the shit that i just gone through.anw,the red stars are back in my heart.sit back and suffer.

2008-11-15T09:37:00.002+08:00

this past few days seems to be an endless dreams cascading from nighmares to nightmares.i had made my parents horrified of me,today morning.and i think, they must have officially think im a loon.i dont know if i am grounded.but mostly,i made them disappointed.they are now,ignoring the fact,i think because they do not know how to handle this kind of situation that i had put myself in.i think they forgot what the stupid tv shows advised about 'managing' your child in this situation.well,i feel so suffocated and i dont know...i'm still waiting for a time where i could finally feel free again.

assessment on monday!2 painting,VS model in progress,VS a2 board left.
jia you
hurhurhur

i wanna go kraftwerk :(

2008-11-11T21:26:00.006+08:00

we are in a position of injuriousness.especially me.there's only one word to describe what you are now,that is: tyrannical.you know why everyone is passing by you without hearing you;it is because of that egoism that make people shudder upon hearing.i am tired.i really am.who is not?even if im half dying i will still come to finish everything that is rightfully my responsibility.not to throw it all and leaning and leaning and leaning half-dead.i am not my usual self any longer,but i do not think i need to apologise for what i have said.but i want to apologise to people that read this.even if you guessed and pondered and do not agree with me,it's okay.you do not know the twisted position we are in.this is just the most fucked up ever entry that i've ever written.i got no one,no one to outpour too.this is a lonely planet.i want to die and leave a silent imprint of people i love and love me.not to be patriotism---im really down with a fever.

2008-11-10T15:44:00.002+08:00

okay.i think i'm really sick because i felt quite...disturbed till i got to see it.

ehmm...not really my fav,but i fall in love with the animation.

2008-10-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty...But the sight of the stars makes me dream..."-Van Gogh

for today i had disappeared from this world.i really,practically disappeared.i wish not to come back.really :( sighs...i have too.then throughout my disappearing from the world,the album above was playing repeatedly.again and again.i wonder how to get someone inside your head.wouldnt it be easier?

i love Parched Art

2008-10-28T18:55:00.010+08:00

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!

hello,i am still living in tuesday and the guys on top are my new goldfish.today on zacky news!i officially finished the main structure of my Sculpture Of Humanbeast.it's not well done like other people,but ok.whatever...i've dust stick on my eyeballs for 2 classes.i brought home my big and ugly structure alone with humiliation in the crowded peak hour train and lrt.sighs...

i planned to watch all the StarWars episodes before my assesment.now i know why a lot of people is such a huge fan of Star Wars..it's because it's the only show with human,aliens,monsters,robots and space travelling from one planet to another in one whole show.plus the costumes and make-up.this year will be a sombre halloween for me. :/

shall not talk about that.

Hey Mr Inamorato,it's been some time that you,Mr Inamorato,had spent time with me.It seems that this days passed by like the wind,Mr Inamorato,since you last came into my dream to take me into a beautiful labyrinth.But the reality is, Mr Inamorato,you seems so caught up in things that i hate to say,to be not that very worthwhile.Mr Inamorato,you seem to be in a lost for your priority,but i prayed you would listen to me.I wish that you would take another kind of job Mr Inamorato,and concentrate on your future.Your passion,Mr Inamorato,it can wait.for now you are getting on my nerve as you panicked for the paper you had scattered on the floor.it feel like you a blaming me,Mr Inamorato,for the mess,you yourself made,but you told me to clean it up.but it's okay,because you are my Mr Inamorato,i'll help you.but for now,i feel like a cockatoo and i want a tree to just perced on top alone....

...for than the raven perched beside the cockatoo to watch the sunrise together.they have been waiting for this for so long.

2008-10-28T00:15:00.005+08:00

slurp this green slug

it seems that here is the only place that i could keep my sanity.but actually,it's making me [and my classmates panicky] for the assessment in another 2 weeks time.broc is done.only text chicken wraps to do in Indesign tmr & subsequent re-editing--that if i have new inspiration.1half done 2 more to go for paintings.sketchbook yet to do,need to buy new sketchbook.fuck...the thing i want to do last is the essay.god,i still got no idea of which topic to write.can i fail it?since it's minor???hurhurhur fuckk k...need to fucking grab those mounting boards before they disappear.it's selling as hot as the canteen nuggets.

Sreaming capital O's and more more repressed thoughts haunting me

...for the raven came to my window one night,and hold it's wings out to me.it want me to hold it's wings,but i fear for that i will fall once i leap out of my 13th floor.it's a risk for the raven.for it's body so small compared to mine,to carry me as a burden behind its back.but for us,an albatross hang around our necks.it's a curse that had just begun...the damned.

argggghhhhhhahahahahaha FUCK HOMI BHABHA!

2008-10-26T10:34:00.007+08:00

came to support RFA ,shashah's band...srsly shashah,think if next time i come down to support,i must see the list of bands performing bcz hardcore fucking core shit makes my ear full of ear wax shit. i shall skip it all except for there is Heidon,that metal band bcz the dude really reminds me of hussin,and i love the dorky drummer that wears the iron maiden shirt.omfg.didnt know anyone so dorky looking plays so damn well.he can double paddle and all."musical orgasm" haha!hmmm...i'm searching for this band tt i find strangely nice,and anis love it.the keyboardist bends on his keyboard,his nose almost touching his instrument,bt it's very very nice.i wish i can play keyboard so i can make my own music.wanna ask the dood what kind of keyboard he uses..it's so easy to carry around anywhere.so fucking cool.and can tune it into diff kind of sounds.so perfect.

oohhhh finally i found the fucking band that show their back towards the audience.it's called A Sacred Axe and A Mannequin Angel.omfg.the girls sounds like pigs begging to be slaughtered...

i was srsly amazed.

come down to my feet and beg for my forgiveness to not tell his papa.pathetic,but nice.

2008-10-25T10:58:00.002+08:00

the tv is left hanging.u want to see my vision?it is STATIC.

been doing not so many work this few days..omggggg...sighs.what is wrong with me.i dunno where to start.

2008-10-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

Once upon I pondered,about a forgotten lore,with a thread upon my head
towards the stars,high above i sat,were there are new scars,
as two stars crosses each other's path;a meteor wrath.
The pain is gone as the soul is,
that it is and nothing more.

And the candle burning the last wax,the wood burning the last ember,
My head lolled into a dream,that I tightly grasp to remember,
The phantom of a deadly ghost, a ghost named Sorrow
For he is what the angels calls him,Soul Of The Morrow
Sorrowful forevermore

for suddenly i heard a rapping,a rapping on my windowsill
i heard something rapping,though i'm not sure i heard it tapping,
It was a strange visitor,a strange visitor at my windowsill.
I have a strange visitor,on this midnight winter,the tapping repeating
as it calls for me,
ah,evermore.

***continuing***
i'm writing my own version of The Raven XD lolss

2008-10-23T09:42:00.002+08:00

weston weston weston.
i need to raise 5000bucks for a trip to Paris.i want a trip to Paris.what i was thinking was that i feel like having a proposal to Mr Bihn,for him to talk to the authority to sponsor us a little for the trip.i forgot to ask John when is the trip.hopefully its after hols,so i can work and earn more money for expenditure there..sell away stuff???sighs...i.need.to.escape.now.
i end up watching Vampire Knight Guilty and half of Terminator S2 Ep6,when it failed to load further.only painted one side of my canvas panel... T.T"

***
You do everything for me
Protect me from the shadows

You hold me when I'm falling
Chase all the bad dreams away

You hear me when I'm calling you
Wash away my tears

My blood is poisoned, my soul is aching
I'II die for you once more

But once you hurt me and I can't forget the pain
The razorblades inside my soul
Inside my soul

I tried to forget you
I tried to love you
But I hurt you all the time
I can't forget you
I'm afraid to touch you
And I always see you cry

Let me die, let me die, let me die with you

And I wish I could die with you again
And I wish I could die in your arms again
I want to die with you...

2008-10-22T09:03:00.002+08:00

beckon and rise from my sleep of 9 and a half hours,i feel a little fresher.for me, i need a lot of sleep,and for the past whole week,i've been sleeping around midnight to 3 am consequently.trying to match up with elites so as to earn myself some love for my being.sketchbooks,4page brochure,2 canvas and 3 other paintings to finish up,photography of 1 A3 fine print and 3 negatives to hand in ,3000words essay and presentation,and model to finish in less than 3 weeks.

make the day be more than 24 hours please.sorry i cant spend so much time with you anymore tt you had seen my workload..u have your workload too...

sighs...the raven had really been deep inside of me for the past few days that i feel safer and not having funny thoughts.but this creeping feeling of guilt,that i'm playing with fire,i shall swallow it all like the raven had swallowed it for my sake;for it's a secret not to be let out in any case of unfortunate events.

hmm...i am plunging down with the economy for i cant control myself in indulging with daily treats and people all around me is squeezing every cent per dollar to save for a rainy day-well,it is drenching like crazy now- i love it..but sighs...it reminds me of my wish to live alone in an apartment with transparent glass roof and windows at Gotham City where i can see the city's overview and streetlights below me. that is an escape from social bitterness i'm experiencing now;and what had other ppl is experiencing though maybe their wish is to escape to hawaii for a beach and sunshine affair.... ....which i have no interest about...nt that i shun the beach and sunshine,but that i'm not in the mood for it.

i talk weird today.bye.

2008-10-18T21:44:00.002+08:00

haha.nowww...the first unedited pic that i put up in this blog..just now,amir came,and after 2 weeks tt i last seen im,he had grown tremendosly.he's one big,strong and healthy 6kg baby for a just one mth and 3weeks old.then hussin and his sisters and cousin came..a while ltr,uma came..and we played at the playground..very nice ^^

tmr going out with the girls.. :) yayy~ time to finally see e/o's house and all.jeanne coming my hse bright and early at 845am so happy to have her try my clothes on and makeup!teehee!!

it's 9.15pm, everyone had gone home and we chatted in my room...i know i cant lie infrnt of you and i cant lie to myself.you and i,we have been through so many years as best friends,and though we dont communicate as well as many times,today is the moment,that i could talk to you like it was a year ago.life is twisted both for the better and worst.you know me deep inside.and i think you know that i'm suffering a little.that you know who i longed for.you and i wonder,how long more shall i wait...

psstt...think my wish for a plasma tv will come true soon.muahahahahaa..

i hate the politics and economy. :((

2008-10-17T22:53:00.004+08:00

let me start...

"To the raven shall I command to be my eyes and to scrutinize thee"

well,i was looking at the round white glowing globe into nothingness and i wish i could fade away in it...like -bluup- i'll get suck into an infinite time where it brings me back 3 yrs ago when you feel suicidal and talking about heavy stuff.it's all squeezed in a little book.that magickal book for the Faint & Melancholy Hearts.the empty vitagen bottle sits besides my laptop lazily with some ants all over it...it's a breeding ground for ants here in my room
there's a snail the size of my palm which i almost squashed in the playground.which leads me to thinking how smart it is for the snail who doesnt need a house key because it carries it's house with it.

what happens when u got no house key?sit at your playground with a survival book of How To Survive Being Stuck For Dummies.
First rule:sit at the basketball court to watch people sweating their hearts out with a Pretz in your hand to munch.
second rule:as it reaches 9pm and the basketball court is empty,u can lay down on the bench.you will think that you are in bed when the lights switched off to find that the court is in total darkness.hear me:DON'T PANIC!CALL SOMEONE.S.O.S
third rule:make sure you have a bottle if ur're a dood to pee in.for girls,well,uhh..too bad for me.
and there the googoogaagaa goes on till 10+pm when i could finally burst into the bathroom.right there in the bathroon,i was praising god.

mr bihn is the sweetest for troubling himself to give me my thumbdrive back..though he wrongly thought tt meatballs gave me those roses.i dont know what is it ystd,i cant help but feel miffed.sighs..

i got a painting to do for a bthdae present in like 6hrs time.and i cant find my old canvas panel.guess i'm going to paint the painting i did 2 nights ago white,and re-do a new one for this.

2008-10-14T20:50:00.003+08:00

*Vida Sacrificium*

I left the scene with memories
And i turned away into this labyrinth
Where broken dreams are stung with delusional fantasies.
Assaulting me to demise for the long of your memory
These choking tears in walls of silence
Burn a fire cradled in madness
Release my heart from this hateful life
Demolish this sadness
Tear me away from your wintry embrace

Hope withers
My dearest and darkend dreams
Ruined in grief

With my sorrows
In deception

that always happens in my notes in boring fucked up lectures.anis and all burst out laughing when they look at it.esp anis.the fishball on sticks are hers.lol.i got no mood to talk to anyone now.except edward,and it's nice...

hmm...i dont know why i am so upset[actually i do for some,but some i'm so confused about why i am so upset about].estranged feeling that never go away.i got nothing more to say.i couldnt say anymore

2008-10-13T21:02:00.006+08:00

i dont even know if i can ever be truly happy.i wish i coud fall back like i used too;that's how i am.i want to like one day...hope on into a ship.one that travels to nowhere...nowhere on earth.because the waves will take my ship high up onto a place called "A great country in the air" with Lucian.passing the Pillars Of Hercules and into the Atlantic.When i'm on the Great Country In The Air,i shall ride on Saladbird Rides;huge birds with vegetables for feather and enormous lettuce as wings,Flea Archers;which is really just normal fleas,only 12 times the size of elephants...they would fly in very high speed towards an island so bright over the horizon.the flapping of their wings is roaring in my ears[a whirring kind of sound for the fleas and havy thuds of flapping from the bird],but i love it.the feeling of freedom,i can smell it on the strange new land as we get ashore...me & Lucian.

beautiful things had given me nothing but so much pain,so i shall not look at beauty for now..but beauty lets you have anything you want?

**on a lighter note: i just dipped my elbow into my soup since i ate infrnt of Edward just now.i'm suppose to put my bowl into the sink but yea.dipped my elbow into the leftover soup.i miss Edward the Laptop sooooooo much!hehee!doing hist ppt through msn.and i got a sharp pain just below my ribcage,in the middle.i'm holding in this pain.fuckkk the ppt presentation.fuck it all.

2008-10-10T21:07:00.004+08:00

It's a perfect day for letting go
For setting fire to bridges
Boats
And other dreary worlds you know
Let's get happy!
It's a perfect day for making out
To wake up with a smile
Without a doubt
To burst grin giggle bliss skip jump sing and shout
Let's get happy!

"But it's much too late" you say
"For doing this now
We should have done it then"
Well it just goes to show
How wrong you can be
And how you really should know
That it's never too late
To get up and go...

It's a perfect day for kiss and swell
For rip-zipping button-popping kiss and well...
There's loads of other stuff can make you yell
Let's get happy!
It's a perfect day for doing the unstuck
For dancing like you can't hear the beat
And you don't give a further thought
To things like feet
Let's get happy!

"But it's much too late" you say
"For doing this now
We should have done it then"
Well it just goes to show
How wrong you can be
And how you really should know
That it's never too late
To get up and go...

Kick out the gloom
Kick out the blues
Tear out the pages with all the bad news
Pull down the mirrors and pull down the walls
Tear up the stairs and tear up the floors
Oh just burn down the house!
Burn down the street!
Turn everything red and the beat is complete
With the sound of your world
Going up in the fire
It's a perfect day to throw back your head
And kiss it all goodbye!

It's a perfect day for getting wild
Forgetting all your worries
Life
And everything that makes you cry
Let's get happy!
It's a perfect day for dreams come true
For thinking big
And doing anything you want to do
Let's get happy!

"But it's much too late" you say
"For doing this now
We should have done it then"
Well it just goes to show
How wrong you can be
And how you really should know
That it's never too late
To get up and go...

Kick out the gloom
Kick out the blues
Tear out the pages with all the bad news
Pull down the mirrors and pull down the walls
Tear up the stairs and tear up the floors
Oh just burn down the house!
Burn down the street!
Turn everything red and the dream is complete
With the sound of your world
Going up in the fire
It's a perfect day to throw back your head
And kiss it all goodbye!

i'm so lazy to upload pictures now in my blog..anything,it's all in facebook.so much things had happened.i don't know where to start.but,anw,i wont start either.just tt the most recent one is the sports day,and lols.i wore shorts.haha.real red shorts.feel so bare.oh did i tell u tt jeanne look hot in shorts and tank top?lol!and so is everyone else.just kind of disappointed that the rest didnt come;but it cannot be blamed too.blame the nafa budget.saw mr tan demonstrating[or rather,he looks like he's showing off] wushu...with the sword.

when i went off,to jay cross across the street,i saw a dead half rotting bird.meatball is grossed out when i showed him the close up picture i took.and grossed him even further when i said about when i saw a rotting cat with it's guts all can be seen... ....haha!sighs...we found out that from 5 to 6 is rock songs on MTV & 6 to 7 is rnb.lolss...sorry i forced u to watch Edward Scissorshands;i want to watch the 2 actors i love most;Johnny and Winona.

it's another bad week for you,bt hang on. :) the song's for you though u dont really like the cure.

2008-10-08T20:18:00.002+08:00

hey i promise myself nt to go on9 bt i bathed and when i reach home,the door was locked.i swear i saw my parents room light switched on and also the kitchen lights.i just go into my room,pull the earpiece out of my ears,put down my bag,grab my towel n go into the kitchen toilet.the surreal part was tt the kitchen light was on, or is it?its so strange,bt even by discovering this,i just go into the bathroom..nw tt i finished,and as i go out of the bathroom,my parents room light was off,everywhere is pitch black inside..and now.now tt i am in my room and trying to put evertything to senses...like what was tt?is it a dream?wdh is wrong with my brain?sighs...im off nw.gotta do work.tired of typing in this phone..

2008-10-06T14:21:00.004+08:00

:) ...... ........ ........... .......... ... . . .. ... ...... . . . ... ...

haha

i'm a lonely wheat grass in a field of grass and i'm so so stuck with the song on top.

2008-10-05T11:13:00.002+08:00

fuck it all.

2008-10-04T11:16:00.013+08:00

how can i say about yesterday?woke up bright and early though a little groggy.i think i woke up in the wrong side of the bed.the face that lit up my morning;is late for school causing mindless anxiety chattering that i just have to look and be amused[yeap,to look and be amused bcz as i said,i'm still quite groggy] amused enough in the morning,i switched on the screen.damn.i got 36 emails and i cant even open up or delete.something's wrong with my email.is it just me??damn.i didnt see the email from the mysterious person regarding about the spree.so so fucked up till my stomach churned--***need the toiletz***--

did you know that at PS,they're renovating half the top floor,and there's some new action figurines and comics store???AND THE DISPLAY DOLL IS A FULL FLEDGED LIFE SIZE TERMINATOR FIGURINE!!gahhh..my head almost explode infrnt of the shop.it's closed.

ohohoh!see that?lols.yea.whatever.i hope it comes alive and put PS into crumbles so they can build a new PS since i'm so sick of the place.lols.then i'll jump on it and take out the microchip out of it's head.If ever this came true,i shall be a hacker,The Computer Genius,so i could use the microchip to make Summer <3

and so i played the arcade alone,Time Crisis 4.and i hit my personal score.

hey,that's a cupcake!did i tell you that i dwld back limewire?weeee~ copyright infridgement put in the freezer;let it be inactive.i need knew song.i need it so badly.

2008-10-02T12:51:00.007+08:00

I FEEL SO TECHNO-CHROMATIC

*girl down girl down. i feel a little sore in the throat.maybe from ystd's medication.i'm not sick,but just need...medication.and i washed it down with coke.the taste is stuck in my throat like the smell of my stain remover pen.no,dont try this at home.i miss a moment when i never really know what is going on with my life.i wore my long sleeve shirt for a 168hours and never did i ever changed,even if i go out... i realise that terminator updates on every wednesday.i want summer as much as i used to want doraemon so badly.open that magic door and bring me into a new place so i can take better lomo pictures.sick sick singapore make me sick.he's a purple unicorn.see how lovely he trots away... ....did u see it in this photo??{from my DianaF+}

only i can.anw,tmr is photog class.it's so cool that we're using the view camera.what shall i bring for still life?either i'll bring my 2 years old dried up rose or maybe a cabbage.sighs..i could hear kenneth words ring-a-ding in my ears.argh!i wish i got my room for myself so i can turn it into my own sweet darkroom.the store is filled with my parent's trash.i just got my mind blown away again and again.

2008-09-29T19:59:00.003+08:00

i came back home in time to break fast.parents are the most unpredictable species on earth and so is mine.she's a neat freak;she had machine washed my bed covers and bat curtains,clean up my table again.she's pissed that i bought reddish maroon and also for the vintage thing behind my door.she's complaining.but now everything's okay.for now,i could breath more freely then ever.for now,i shall sleep on my machine-washed fresh bed.

u chitter chatter so much!

my lomo is sent for developing,tmr i'm going to get it.horray!i can't wait to see how it turns out[though i'm sure many would turn out sucksss since it's my first time] dragged MB to bugis junction to search for shoes.eh i love it so much.lols 28!wee!30 off.a hit.then to city hall to take pictures on the track itself like "ohh,i am stepping exactly where ystd the cars are zooming.and heyy look at the scroch marks on the road" i feel like someone childish,running away so hard but end up meeting at last.so childish.why am i running away?why are we running away?there's nothing that can hurt us.right??then to AH where i'm so devastated bcz no more MV!!!gahhh!!!the bench is where we laid our butts.and also bus rides and fountain fall behind us.we're in town suddenly and everything is a blur.i bought a cream cardi.hah...i'm pale with the rain.i NEED the cape to keep me snuggle.can i?can i!?or maybe we shall visit the other costume/joke shop and be electricuted by lighters/robot toy/chewing gum/etc etc etc.my eyes shine as i look through shop windows."look at those marvelous looking invented materials!!" i want a police cap to stop bad ass people and kick their butts.especially eugene's;for commiting his used-to-be purposeful life into a number one Beng.anw,we're back were we've started,and to back where u started.now i'm back where i've started.goodnight.eat like there's no tomorrow.eat like i'm fucking sick of fasting.eat like a pig.

babi eyes class cancelled WOOHOO!!!and hell,i'm watching heroes and not reading kay's f-notes.sorry i've lied.i did it because it's my habit.no.it's not only about the lying.but whatever,i'm trying to straighten out myself.just,guide me.nadiah,u're really amusing with your spelling when u're drunk.lol!

boohoo.your cd doesnt work :( i need InDesign!!!

2008-09-29T00:27:00.000+08:00

sorry,but i'm a little bit,if not;more.obsessed

2008-09-26T22:46:00.008+08:00

in the morning,i gt a call and all i feel and overwhelming sense of self stupidness for i mistook the timing.i mumbled on the phone and cranked up,instantly got up to chg within 15minutes.ohh i give myself 15minutes.my hair is fluffy and soft today from last night's late night bath.

stayed in the lib to look at some-hoho!-japanese book ;) one preppy laidback looking dude asked for my pen.lols.he was beaming when i held out mine,happily jotting down some stuff from a really thick book.found jiayan's bthday present,then again-Happy Birthday! suv cracked me up telling me about Kermit's accidental spewed a drop of bubbly saliva on nad's head.haiyooh.baet's class.sighs.everyone did acrylic but not me.no comments lols! \

i came back home an hour plus ago,stomach filled with spicy ramen.omfg.how can i eat spicy ramen on an empty stomach.it's burning at the pit.salmon swimming.gastric juices yummy breaking it down.did i tell u that i finally found the black maxi i've been wanting for 28?haha!i just,terribly...well i'll give you my plastic heart,Mystery.

psstt u know why i woke up at 8am on monday and was screaming late???bcz i dreamt of Hellboy 2 doing La Pakour.in that dream i was controlling Hellboy to get to the top of this f-high skyscraper and beat his other opponents from overtaking him.Omg i tell u..in that dream i was super tired in controlling his every move;where to jump,where to leap,where to duck.i felt like i was doing La Pakour myself...i hate dreams that makes u feel like you're exercising.

poof!

*she makes me worry so much.should i call her?or should i gave her space?*

jeanne's gigantic hat

photostudio

2008-09-26T00:33:00.002+08:00

hmm...i'm religiously reading my Diana F+'s manual.it's been very tiring.me and anis both agreed we're tired of fasting.it's taking a toll on us.we feel half dead alrdy at the beginning of the day.i'm trying to upload the videos we took this afternoon at Bihn's class.somehow i worried that the lecturer who barge into the Mac Lab saw us fooling around and complain to Bihn.i mean,oh man...we're getting out of hand-somehow.i mean,hey,who will not be crazy infront of a gigantic Mac screen?

sighs...i dont know how to tell you,but yea..haa!a pang/hole in my plastic heart!the flame will melt me.melt me in the candle.remould me.reshape me.shoo away you bunch of stray cats.never confuse me and lead me to the wrong pavement.never lead me low.don't play with madness.

T.T" pms alert pms alert pms alert

2008-09-24T23:32:00.005+08:00

though it's not raining tonight i felt like it's a heavy drench in my room.the water had finally shed on my face since it's been so long...so long since it's high tide.such a dumbass thing to be upset about.hmm...nie tmr.this week's not on my side for school.hope next weekkkkkk---nuh 'uh.dont think so too.going to turn off the lappie.blessed be.
psst...i got nothing better to do but watch videos all day long sometimes...and i watched Terminator Season 2 the first 3 episodes alrdy.ohh Summer!~

***

songs in reverse always scares the shit out of me.no matter how happy it sounds like originally.well...maybe for the video on top...but not this... o.0"

think i cant sleep now.

2008-09-24T01:50:00.004+08:00

"He who believe in One,must believe in the other"

ohhh...criminal minds are reallyy cool today.i feel the thrills.some more with fantasies[eh let me correct it-it's Nightmare] of what we watched today afternoon.
i must be nuts to be up this late when i'm usually dead asleep for sure. since i'm that kind that must sleep in a certain exact timing.hmm...think i'll be stoned tomorrow.felt feverish again and hmm...my wrist hurts.dont know why either.

think you're asleep.well,goodnight

2008-09-23T15:45:00.001+08:00

http://www.dumpr.net/

2008-09-22T19:29:00.004+08:00

"I am born of a thousand storms, and grey with rushing rains"

i love harry clarke!wahh~ such a great italian illustrator ^^

bought EAP complete book of tales and poems thanks to meatballs for finding it :D
weeeeeeeeee!!~~ and it's cheaper then the last time i see it.50bucks down to 30bucks.
and u offered to buy the cd for me again and it surprised me so...it's like your sacrifice for me.bt its okay,bcz i just had fun though it's tiring lols.

2008-09-20T12:54:00.004+08:00

am fascinated by Hamilton artwork all morning today.going out the whole late afternoon today.

***

"She who is illuminated with the Brightest Light...

...will cast the Darkest Shadow.

this was what i've got to know about me today when i logged in.i hate my family so much because they are so narrow and shallow minded,i'm sorry to say... sighs...what's so funny about me?what's so wrong with me?"tie your shoes!change your clothes!wipe your nose!oh u know nothing! you are nothing!what do you wanna do in your lifeee??!" well,maybe this is familiar to some of my friends who i had shown the Twisted Sister's video We're Not Gonna Take It.my bulb had fused and my room is in total darkness except for this light source radiating from my laptop and also the flickering tv beside me;no one is watching it.well is it?actually Mystery is watching it.

Annabel Lee by EAP
~

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love -
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her high-born kinsmen came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me -
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud one night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we -
Of many far wiser than we -
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling -my darling -my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea -
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

2008-09-18T20:52:00.002+08:00

Hey!we're the SSY poop girls!:D

selenger bacen nak mampuss T.T"
well,at least it's cheering me up teehee!even my lil bro is laughing madly watching.see?end up doing very very little workin school.dont know how to finish it la sighs :/ dont know how to use flash for nuts.just did facebook and i donated 480gm of rice today.

2008-09-17T11:09:00.007+08:00

Beetlejuice ep.1 part 1 Critter Sitters

***

:D today was great!except the part when my parents yelled at me for i didnt do my prayers T.T" whichhhhh i shall NOT touch on.well,went out of the house in a hurry to escape the wrath of the dragon's mighty fire breath.took the train,felt good for giving my seat to an uncle.took bus.

2008-09-16T13:38:00.009+08:00

hahahahahahahahhaha...ur saying bitch??? whos my bitch anyway..???? i think u have to look in the mirror 1st...then u talk kk...no problem lah ill pay it NINETY SEVEN DOLLARZ k!!...TAK heran AH!...PAPE KASI ACCOUNT NUMBER JE K BYE. MAlAS Ah nk BBL NGAN ORG TAK SEDAR DIRI.

sighs. fuck you and fuck everyone.

anis sms-ed me last night when the skies all twinkly and the moon is bright.i was ready to sleep.remembering Mission Impossible and 007,planet of the ape,tales of my long-ago sec sch life.i want to hear your stories too.probably another time.past are not exactly sweet.but still,it's a memory of your existence.it's a transition,from life to nightmares as my eyelids drooped.

2008-09-15T22:00:00.004+08:00

today was alright i the morning,went to school.redundant morning routine.then doing photog like a robot till 4 plus.robotics.bionical.bionical me.i wish i was a thumbelina.i want to remain small and unseen forever.let the flower petals cloth me from the bright sun.Let the breeze lift me up as i'm too light.too light even for the air.

night night.heroes tonight.on channel 5.plan 9.

2008-09-14T09:27:00.017+08:00

i set my alarm clock at 8 today and so i woke up and showered.
now i'm watching ozzy on youtube.don't know why i got a naggy feeling to listen to his songs as i remembered my old time fav movie Little Nicky,in which ozzy bites a bats head off-which is actually Little Nicky's bad brother-and put it in a flask to be brought to hell. o0hhh i watched Beetlejuice finally!eekkk!my eyes are only upon Lydia,[Winona Ryder].hmm :/winona edward scissorshands.omg cant recognise her from edward.so huge difference.she looks so young in beetlejuice.winona so pretty.looking at her fringe make me want to cut mine,which had grown long.should i straighten my fringe and cut a v-fringe?and do my hair red?yea...maybe i should.excuse me for putting up my current obsession for Lydia... ...sighs...

"My life is a darkroom,one BIG darkroom"

i want to spit your fucking face you bastard fuckkkkKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

2008-09-11T08:49:00.005+08:00

"is the sky more blue on the other side?"

it felt like someone hit me in the head at 2200hr .all i knew is when i woke up before dawn.

my mum's really really sweet at the fact that she cleared my wadrobe for me -remember there's one point before the past holiday,i said that i want to clear up,but in fact,i didnt XD- anw,she also cleared my messy table and nicely put all my stuff in my closet.i a bit more spacious with all the haywire gone,and am able to breath more.my mum is a neat-freak. in fact,she found a lot of my stuff that i lost!like my black tights,i cannot find it in among all the black apparels.my band,my pen,so on so forth...you know,the little things that you can lost easily and need it badly;there,she found it.oh yah!and she digged my old school band tee shirt with mould on it.tsk tsk...she throw all the filth into the washing machine.

yahh..i feel so feverish i took 3 spoons of panadol[i cant swallow pills for nuts] woke up now.dont feel like going to school...urggghhh...but for Mr Bihn.ahh.i love him!and also for meatballs.

sometimes i feel like my world is squeezed into the size of a ping pong ball.that's how big it is,a speck of dust in the universe.i had that little people in my world.sometimes there's a point when there's not even one.by then,i'd myself disappear from my ping pong ball.is it like we're all in the middle of a dead sea and the only way to survive is to hold onto each other,and if ou had no one to hold on to you just sink sink sink.i'm sick if holding,i want to sink sink sink.

2008-09-09T21:59:00.003+08:00

"But the Raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if its soul in that one word he did outpour
Nothing farther then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered--
Till I scarcely more than muttered: "Other friends have flown before--
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said "Nevermore." "

***
stopped at the 19th page of my A3 documentation of my A4 book...
will not do anymore.mock model is up and how proud is my skull?
let's see how john's reaction is tomorrow then.
idk.wait till you see my BOS
:S "Le livre De Sacré Grotesque"
that's what i should call it.hmm...
but oh wells...i like what i did this term.
so i wont have any regrets if i got bad marks;cz i just like my this work.
i'm on9 for a while now thinking that anis would be 0n9
so i could send her the Red Stars.but anw,
here i put up the lyrics. enjoy :)

p.s:got to go fry some naan so i could eat and sip peach tea on my bed as i watch CSI & criminal minds ^^
weeeee~!
***

Best of cruel intentions
Finding what they fail to mention
No truth, all pretention
Raise your hand to give attention

You'd give it
We'd take it
You'd build it
We'd break it
You silently erase it
You'd feel it
We'd fake it

It's my red star steal it
It's my red star can't let go
It's my red star conceal it
It's my red star oh no

Wasted education
Celebrating immitation
Misplaced admiration
Speaking for a generation

You'd give it
We'd take it
You'd build it
We'd break it
You silently erase it
You'd feel it
We'd fake it

It's my red star steal it
It's my red star can't let go
It's my red star conceal it
It's my red star oh no

2008-09-07T21:44:00.003+08:00

woked up puffy eyed,red chest from cat clawed scratch.brushed teeth and did vs dc--9 to 1.1.30 went down to meet surah.till 5.did drawing.omgg.i can die drawing n painting.the wind is blowing fine.my hair is clipped at the back-i look something like a japanese baby.chick on rollerblade.ohh i didnt know they hang around my house.oh wells.i'm so full i could vomit[like i always do]-anorexic tummy.it's Macdee day!!sister peeled off fats of mcspicy while i munch it on gathering all the fats like how i gather sand to build a sandcastle by the beach.like how i dig a hole in the sand like how it's digging a hole in my heart.ah,life should be short and sweet don't you think?why am i always thinking negative thoughts?i question Him and i'm very unhappy with the answer i got.i want a unizebra.i want horns.i want inverted wings.

i want to capture it within the deep trees in my camera tomorrow as it peeps shyly at me.nights.may kingkong ramped through your fucking bedroom today.good day love hate.

2008-09-06T21:54:00.007+08:00

hey hey hey...
my day had been tiring.really super tiring.
they said i look like a vampire.hurhurhur
went home,i still want to watch tv,so i watched till 11.30

today,i transfer my research from my small sketch book into the BOS that my friends bought for me for my bthdae ^^
i need to buy printer ink!!dont want to waste money in the printing shop printing my research pictures.end up finding gruesome CD covers from metal to goth band range onwards,since i loveee to look at their art cover.
they are so so imaginative and disgusting.u guys really want to see???

well,after that off to geylang but the weather's an ass.it's damn hot.i hate the 'fashion' this year.i cant find anything i like--i got nothing particular in mind.so i dont care.maybe next time.
break fast at grandparents house and my granma argued with my granpa[vice versa]
all thanks to my tuk's nyanyuk.

just cant resist but to put up this pictures.esp the one below.
i was choking and laughing till i cry everytime i see the last picture.
hope it'll put a smile on anyone who saw it.like how i put a smile on anis's face when she remember about my emily musical statue that hit my head
and how she put a smile on my face when she do the 'in pain' face.
ahh...i almost piss in my pants.
:)

2008-09-05T21:16:00.003+08:00

Skeletal Family-Promised Land

**

it's the weekends again.i will be stubborn and not to fall aside.i'm tired.beat up.faggot.urgh.nothing much to say.really.it's a normal friday night of listening to songs and exploring new ones.and also...i want to watch Beetlejuice tonight!!

to start on john's docu tmr. :/ SUCKS.but ya..have to do.

Die Form-Duality

2008-08-31T14:02:00.004+08:00

The Weston family:gifted photographers.

1700 words into essay!!1 hr more to finish before i go out

2008-08-30T12:41:00.004+08:00

omg...she's my one and only hot neo-geisha.

porcelain white skin,deep set dark eyes,silky hair and voloptuous body

into 900 words of my 2000 words essay.i better hurry.going to brother's house to see baby.aww...i've yet to carry him.oh my sunshine.

2008-08-28T22:38:00.004+08:00

stress!
omgg...my microsoft office had gone nuts.now i'm using notepad to do my essay;and it doesnt have a word count.shit.arghh!!painting tmr.photography class need 6 pictures to show at the end.john's work is shit work.ackk!all under 2 weeks.will i fall under the mount of work that is suddenly,and forcefully shove in my face??? :/

psst..i think i'm only up to 200 words rather than the 2000 word long we're suppose to write. :'/ i cant continue anymore...i've read a part of the essay notes a few dozen times per paragraph to fully understand..and now let me digest the next few paragraph tmr.for now,let me do john's documentation that i've fucked up.oh i shall stop right on 11pm since i want to watch Project Runway.i know u will argue for me to watch on9 since Ch 5 is such a lagging ass;bt i'm lazy to wait for it to load on9.just a flick of a button and let me watch a few season back with my tomyam seaweed and 1A curry puffs and oh!daily dose of ruby ribena for the good of your eyes.

idk.every week in NIE.it is our ritual to take photos with the big screen Mac.

2008-08-26T07:47:00.005+08:00

i'm officially an aunty for a baby boy at 6am today.
lols.yay.my birthday cake is for the 2 dearest ppl,my sis and my nephew.
:) i'm going to visit them soon at the hospital.
gotta bath;not yet bath!
btw,sis said thank you for the birthday present with that usual mono tone of voice

**
oh shit.pms coming.emotions overflow.hope u can take this shit from me.oh for me buying something just give me the thrills.i think it gives me the same thrill as stealing something;no,i've nvr steal.i saw this huge mystical ring at aldo.too big.i think my finger are unpropotionate to regular fingers since some is too small,some is too big,it's irritating.
marcus class was nice,only the part when we went to 7/11.srsly,7/11's cash register is spewing DAT2 money to the brim.Then Anis was saying that the bin is so small.
"the opening may be small,but the inside is spacious" i said.
"that's a nice thing to describe a V,Em" --Nad
tomyam noodles gulped down by us as passerby looked through to see young girls slurping it up.oh oh hot tom yam.burning my throat!jeanne dipped her finger into my cup noodle of boiling water.suv dropped the brownie and put it back into the tray. Shana told me in the morning that she bought 2 pack of cigg for the price of the regular one.Nadiah bought the Rhino glass bottle drink just so she could get the bottle-god knows for what since she's accident prone to ppl around her.Jeanne musing about the word RHINO water.Someone said "It's made from real Rhinos" yash said "hah!rhino testicles" omggg...suv will cause my cardiac heart attack--stop calling me Hannah!i'm not Hannah Monatanaaaa.i dont talk like her or whatsoever she does;i dont know *screams and pulls my hair*
[poor ppl who ate the fallen brownie]
fiery feminist.fiery mouths.

fiery thoughts.
jealous about little stuff that i felt that i ought to be slapped for.for you

2008-08-22T20:42:00.004+08:00

weeeeeeee!!it's the weekends again.
i miss the time at home.i must be nuts.
there's new assignments to be stressed about;hist essay[went to the museum today] john's visual studies[bought the sketch book-B4-i know he wants bigger size,but i intend to fill as much pages in this book] painting and painting.photography.shit.no pasar malam to take pictures of.hope i wont cock up my roll of film next week :'/
hahahahahahahahaa but the most happiest thing of next week is that pay come in woooohh
but just as i was about to manical laugh,the NLB fine letter came in.
sighs...

okay,there's nothing funny to talk about here.life is a mono.it's like mondrian's work.idk.i shall watch Ghost World and be in a lullaby state of mind for this weekend so hopefully on the new weekday,i could face it with a big hello and probaly a smile.it's been a while since i ever fell like depressed,thanks to you :) but still...life is still mono.i wish i could travel to beijing in a giant rollercoaster that would cross the Red China Sea or wherever.over sharks and dolphins in the sea till i'm at the bird's nest to watch the Olympic synchronised swimming--that is,if i'm not too late for the event.anw,if i take a rollercoaster,i could probably give my friends a super airy ride there too so our hair is all poofy like cotton candy.we'll be afro freaks.if any of you is sea sick,u guys can just barf into the ocean :) no problem about that

i'm not a freak.
don't come near me

2008-08-20T20:43:00.007+08:00

hello..

i got nothing to write.really.just that i'm going off to airport late tonight to welcome Kak Aishah's parents from china.another thing i want to say is that i'm so ready for DIY!wee!i want to do my new coat and new skirt[that i'm getting tmr].i dont know why nowadays i feel like trying new clothes or see new clothes..is it the fact that i love to look through lookbook, at all those fashionable ppl on the streets?like...why cant everyday ppl dress like fashion models;and let the road pavement be a never ending runway for us to walk on?

video art

it's really cool

Laurie Anderson - O Superman

Maurice Benayoun - World Skin, Cave Installation, 1997

Interactivity: one of the dead ends of our artistic era

No video (Angie Bonino-1997) [Micromuseo]

Mr. President (Angie Bonino-1999) [Micromuseo]

Les Robots d'artistes.robotic art.Bill Vorn!

2008-08-19T09:18:00.005+08:00

a FREEDOM OF SPEECH by me.

this is an entry before i plunged into the day.
for now,my morning is fine.ate scrambled eggs with sliced hotdogs.
worn my clothes for the day[could not think so much about what to wear;just grabbing]
my hair is done up[no no hairspray.some ppl are still wondering how i do my hair] lols
--it's something for myself to be amused.
talking about that,let me drop into the other day when i was twirling my 2 'horn' with my 2 hands.and sarah and eja was giggling at me it's like twirling some icing cake on my head,only it's real hair.and also the other day,i unconsciously heard fizza said i look like einstein as i was concentrating on dismantling the poor keyboard with my (killer) screwdriver.haha.nahhh..i'm over exagerating. XD

well,ystd night was spent aimlessly in amazon.com.there's an on9 spree and i'd loveee to have the mary janes but -DAMN- my dreams gone with a poof of farty air as they said they want FREE SAVER SHIPPING.grrrr..so the whole night wasted on eye-googling myself again with stuffs.

another monkey that ruin my life.anw,i rubbed Spongebob's face on my butt.hope u have a smelly rub to your own f-face too;where ever you are.u cant go hiding from me,i made an oath to get my things back.
well,also the fact that i lied to my cousin.lol.but i do get my money back.i dont think he'd ever remember to pay me back.so,i just have to give him a little push.sorry cousin.but you know,how come it took you so long to pay me back when i heard u got 10bucks per day to spend in sch.oh wells,but thanks.Mission Possible 1 down. anw, i have to ask because the money is a lot, if it's a few dollars, i could just give it to you

it's kay and pig-eyed class today.lol!so mean.jeanne said he got pig eyes repeatedly.oh i wish me and our classmate could get fresh cigarrette air outside in the middle of Marcus's BOREDOOM class,to 7/11(it's a store and more of a hangout place) it makes school a teeny bit interesting..nadiah hates school.me too.can we rebel?can we got to the Speakers' Corner like i saw in the newspapers today?i could not give a f damn to read kay's week5 notes.the other week she asked us whether we read,then,i bluntly answered no.and she was like "do i have to tell you each week to read the next week's notes?!" groans.eviiiiil witchyyy.
anw,i hope i oculd see the guy that looks like Mr Baet,only he tied up his hair in 2 too-cute-for-him ponytails.omg.haha.a big old guy skipping around sch with a sch girl's ponytail. XD and ooh.try go youtube and type "Biggest pimple on back" please eat while u watch it.u might need some extra mayonise.lol!ystd was fun with jeanne,anis and huda :D

hey hey,anis and nadiah still owe me songs! hahaha

2008-08-18T19:24:00.004+08:00

the sky now is the color of prussian blue,with a tinge of yellow...the sky comes with the occasional flash of blaring thunder that shook my window railings.beads of water splattering on my windowsill,creating like a symphony of the Light and the Heavy.the smell...oh!the smell of rain just perks me up.i reminiscence the usual sky;so unlike now;the beautiful purple tinge with a bit of orange from the sun.but oh wells,i rather it's this prussian blue everynight.and possible,day.

i acted childishly upon something today and i hope i can erase back from your memory like how easily i rub away pencil marks with an eraser.yes i feel a ring to my ears.oh how much do i have to make you believe me."for me and you,there's worlds apart,with aching looks and breaking hearts".it's familiar for me,this words..hmm...

that leads me into a self-discovery...i dont need a group of people with my similar taste to make my world.i dont want to live by rules.for example,rules of dressing.i dont want people to think me and my friends are siamese twins.like in SLC Punk,the most hardcore punk dude in their group is the most different from the rest;he looks like a nerd.but he could really beat the crap out of people.he's what i call an Silent Evil Demeanour. XD

ops.i didnt realise that my floor is wet with rain water.
psst..my sis's bthday present...Mercyful fate dvd plus cake tee hee! XD

2008-08-17T15:14:00.003+08:00

MY ELECTRONIC MOON

nam june paik

An Urgent Morning!!

haha Master Of Metal! \m/

2008-08-15T13:27:00.004+08:00

It was this time of the year
when I saw you and i disappear
It was this time I felt a sear
as i sat melancholy on a sier
A sea of deep red, I fear
For what the future beholds is so unclear

And this was the reason that long ago
As I look back now, I know
Although-
This heart of steel is hard to plough
Let it rain rocks of ice snow,
scary shadow show or tidal flow;
it doesn't matter.
I heard a soothing distant sound of a cello

Drawn to it as I stood by the sea
As you plucked the strings behind a big tree
Concealing yourself,you observed me
I felt like nothing could get me;even the Banshee
like the waves crashing on the rocks; we're an Esprit
And like the sea spreading to all ends of the world; we're free

2008-08-13T21:45:00.014+08:00

did graffiti because the stupid grafitti club called us to try out.thx to you my new friend,for making my first time graffiti lips nicer..

in roti john's class.we're playing with with shana's hat and my shades.some pictures...

2008-08-12T21:12:00.005+08:00

hello

i'm now researching for visual studies.and i'm hundred percent sure that i don't want to do what john suggest me to do.i felt that there's no meaning in doing something you yourself don't like.so...my new topic(s) are insomniac!!and CANNIBALISMMmm.i wonder how is it like to not sleep for several months or up to a year...i wonder how is it to eat a fellow human beings' flesh.idk.i found the cannibal idea from the china guy,Vince,that cut up another dude's,Tim,and eat him in the bus.it's a taboo subject.though i really want my topic,like i said to AJ and huda and Jeanne,i want my topic to be -BAM!- straightforward.

i felt like my brain was so clogged up with shit today morning.taquito and gulp diet coke cleared it up finally,in time,to do the last minute powerpoint for history.but end up our grp doing next week.photography on monday was frustrating since me and huda[and a few more people] kind of got scolded by kenneth.i think he's a bit nutty in the head too,since he scold us for a moment,and the next he's talking like usual about the usual topic of:S00OOoo,have you guys watch "Mummy"?"Love Guru"?"Journey To the Centre Of the Earth"?"House Bunny?"How about "Killer In Photography Class"??"haha!that last movie is nothing but,my fiction.
...hurhurhur...i dont know.sometimes when i see kenneth smile,it makes me feel uneasy.like once he yell "Someone turn the houselight off and the safety light on!!" he would flick out a chopper,and chop one of us one by one secretly,and no one would know there's blood all over since it's the 'red light' and we might not even know when we soak our photography paper in blood.so as to be puzzled why it had no effect on our paper.

i dont know if i seen the right person at the mrt platform...hmm :/ this troubles me..but what i know is that,i want to have the guts to pull that fucking guitar bag off the shoulder and smash it on the mrt floor.

the 2 person that is very important to me:
hmm...you made me think again.yes.sighs...i have to admit,it's very like fighter jet speed.i want to slow down.i want to slow down to 4 miliseconds per month.alright?you'll be the pilot.i'm your passenger.we have to make this journey possible.or crash,yet again...
the reason why i did that was to say how much i want to tell you and for you to tell me.if you really could see with your sixth sense,then sense that i miss talking to you.you well know me for long that i find it very difficult to put feelings into words,and rather writing it down relieves myself,or another way is for me to do an action that make me look dumb?

2008-08-08T21:16:00.003+08:00

hello hello

let the days now be the best time of our life.
let the obstacles that are always indulging in our life take their rest.
or tell them to give US a rest.

and tell me.how can a whole life's story be explained just over a period of eating fries?i want to time travel back and watch us grow.watch how our mom's feed us when we're young and how we played in the playgrounds.maybe there's once that we crossed paths but didnt know,then.i hope i could beat up the kids that laugh at you at the playground.i also hope that you can stop me from hitting my forehead on metal railings because i did so many stunts at the playground.i hope we could sit down and watch The Magic School Bus as we drink sodas.i promise to make both our childhood a more fulfilling and memorable thing that kids are suppose to have.well,this is just my hopes of the past,the present,and lastly,the mystical future.well,this heart is always melancholy.but this is a fine line to cross.what i see now is a blur of blasting neon streetlights as i'm in the cab on this highway.it is TOTALLY different from the usual red surrounding that i see in my mind's eye;and what everyone see as they looked at me.

as i said,the fine line is blurred into strings of bursting neon.the happy ending is that i managed to shrug away my own depression

2008-08-06T11:47:00.007+08:00

anyone kind enough to send me this song..?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVnRzEjpUmE

and i need The Cure's new album The Only One :/
i wonder whether the shop at far east have it.
or maybe they dont,then i shall order it.hmm

roti john's class.idea= 0

omg.he got a head tattoo.

(smith/gallup/cooper/thompson)
the lyrics are funny!!it's super cheesey.gahh!hahaha!

***
cant.find.the.cure.album.

i dont like the idea that john gave me.i also got the idea about the jail last minute when he said supreme court.then after that he told me to do someething like 'filtration' to filtrate the bad...so i have to do like a mini tank with pebbles and shit. :/
i want to start all over again.i don't know how--and i'm stress with it.all i got for an idea is an end product.i want to do like a disco light in the middle.and some crazy looking dummy in the middle with jail clothes;--or maybe pajamas or maybe in a hospital dress with a teddy bear.. ??lols.sickness???then i think back again..
... ....OMGG so coollll!i just found out in wiki that insomnia is divided into 3 groups of Transient insomnia,Acute insomnia and Chronic insomnia.Some people that live with this disorder see things as though they were happening in slow motion, whereas moving objects seem to blend together.soo000....can i say the disco ball or rays of light is like what they see in their minds?

anis said i look like Hollowman.hahha

a few hours later at 10pm***
i'm so depressed now.can i go germany??wacken,to be exact??
miri had such a hell of a time watching all this bands below perform.
if ever i tell phantom that iron maiden was the huge act of this performance,
i think he'd tear his hair off his scalp.
wacken.why are you so so far away??? :/

singapore witty row of bands can kiss my ass!!!

2008-08-05T21:02:00.004+08:00

i dont know how to start today.but i know my soul is not within me.you know,i'm like clawing at my ownself.i desperately dont want to fall into another depression again.actually,i tried hard not to fall into depression.i tried everthing to not fall into it.like you know...slish.again.damn.Omg.am i going to lose the battle in my ownself again??i even lost a great deal of my appetite to eat.i don't want to be psycho.i am not saying i am one.I AM NOT ONE.
i feel like a total bitch.but watching you go just makes me feel like just--i dont know what i'll do;break down?or just scream.i'm a very self-less person and i really hate myself for it.i know it's tiring for you to keep up with me.i just forgot the old carefree days.but what i know is that i'm not significant in your life anymore.i was very wrong too...but at a certain junction,you were wrong too.what i see in your eyes when you look at me is that,i'm just evil.

talking under the moon was really nice.when i was on a shoulder,i feel my very being wanting to burst out staining the sleeves.oh!i held it in.like i always did.no one shall ever see me in my own downfall.i know,too,if it ever stain the sleeve,it's the same act as smashing you,my glass,on the wall into a millionth pieces from the hundredth of pieces that you,my glass,had been broken last night.hey,i'm trying to be clean and sober back.away from my best friend,my glinting best friend at night. i am talking to myself and me alone.loon.

i'm still searching for an idea for tmr visual studies. :/

fuck philosophies.who need philosophies to lead a life?anti-philosophy.who will back me up?i'm the leader of this new movement.who need a fucking frame to make a fucking difference in their painting?this is the new age.everything comes with speed.just a splatter of ideas and throw it up the wall with some strong adhesive blutack that u could peel of the wall without scraping a paint off.yea.so i say,fuck it.

2008-08-04T23:17:00.002+08:00

Disbelief waiting before the beckoning thirst
in hopes to keep this mind alive
reason pattering childishly over meaning
in grasy to their hold over me

In these eyes what they see
the dwell beneath
emraptured,a ghost in sanction
awat from agony, this reality

rust coloured skies will fill my last encore of rain

In these eyes what they see
the dwell beneath
enraptured, a ghost in sanction
away from my agony, this reality

http://www.chictopia.com/photo/show/13757

oh goodness!nadiah posted our pictures in this site.
i'm so shy ai ai aii..especially the last picture
eww eww eww.i look twisted.and where in the hell is my eyeliner?
why cant see?arghhhh!!~~
i'm one naive monkey now.urgghh
i dress like an apek today.apek apek apekkk.

theories and philosophies are admirable nutcases in folder files to make life the more the more complicated.

2008-08-03T20:29:00.006+08:00

Throw our little cares apart,
Where is the world without a heart?
An empty space- 'twas a route,
toy this heart that's in a gamut.
Nothing!nothing more than shadowy light!
upon a barren desert i take flight!
Parted upon misty wings,
apart from this are mythical things.
No need to quiet any fears
No path-no beginning-no ending-O dear!
The world,and all it did contain,
it's a worthwhile joy of pain.

2008-08-02T23:20:00.005+08:00

hello,in this moment i am falling over into my past.i hate the screams and laughter in my left ear.it just turns my mood black so fast.--if ever i was given the power to switch the volume,i would not just crank down the volume but smash the bloody radio of a People with some baseball bat or iron rod.this is what i called Screaming Bloody Orgasm.nyahahahahahahah!!!
but anywaysss....they got through.loll

[this is sick]then again..i would love to half-drown and then melt some skin off somebody.
pull out all the teeth in the mouth bloody.even the nails and toenails.
i want him to scream bloody gore.
nono...it will be too much a job.maybe i'll just cut start out by cutting the arms with my name
then dig out the heart out straight from the ribcage and push the heart down the throat.
take the intestine out and tie him into a burning chair with his own insides
and send a delivery FedEx to hell.

my head is big,my body unproportionate.but it's okay.i can balance this big head of mine when u are within me.i dont need a limb to walk,never mind,i'll be lame.flaming eyes.what is it that you are trying to say?

okay..sorry if i'm like posting pictures of myself. im not like those girls that post everything. like they are self-obsessed. would love to lick and wetkisses themselves...
but the top picture is taken by anis.she said could see the relection of the blue sky from my eyes. ><
ohhh..i just watched Secret Window a few moments ago.and i love Johnny Depp in this dark psycho killer attitude.

2008-07-31T21:17:00.007+08:00

omfg.today is so fucking crazy.
gahh..i think i've reached my boiling point a few minutes ago.
like i said..i'm God's biggest joke.

2008-07-30T21:00:00.007+08:00

eww haha--just trying to show off my eyes laa...lol. tsk

she told me something that i had been denying and trying to put it at the far back of my mind
sighs...without much avail...i failed.because i think that what made me did it again.
to amuse myself--i half-consciously did it;telling myself that i have to get the lines even.
laughs out loud.why?

i'm staring at the screen--why?

2008-07-29T15:33:00.009+08:00

OSC

-The Sleeper-
The lady sleeps! Oh, may her sleep
Which is enduring, so be deep!
Heaven have her in its sacred keep!
This chamber changed for one more holy,
This bed for one more melancholy,
I pray to God that she may lie
For ever with unopened eye,
While the dim sheeted ghosts go by!
1845.

im in a stage of Silent hysterical.my table is in a mess my hair's a mess my head's a mess.will the days ever come by till it reaches to a boiling point.someone help me breath,help guide me.i'm not the Three Blind Mice.mice are evil,they gnaw on your heart.Father Poe,come enlighten me in my dreams for John's class.let it be surreal.surreal like sleeping very deeply...

ouch.my cheeks.pain.laugh.too.much.

2008-07-27T09:59:00.002+08:00

hey...my uncle just passed away a few minutes ago.
my aunt called the ambulance when he coughed till he was unconscious.
then in the ambulance,she called again and said he was gone.
i dont really know him well..only that he's my cousin's father.
and i feel this lump in my throat that could never go away.
i feel so so ashamed.so ashamed that in times of blurry anger,
i did hope that my parents would just go away..
..like my uncle.

2008-07-24T20:37:00.006+08:00

summary:I SHOULDN'T BE ALIVE.

lol.

half snake,half eel.

it gives me the creeps,as it reel

infront of me,will it bite me?

my heart,it skipped a beat.

it's fight or flight,i took flight.

not even thinking,my body light.

half snake,half eel...

*that's what u get for wondering in bushes*

***

if u were given a chance to go in a mountainous area...and allowed to scream/yell/shout/shriek your heart's desire...what will it be?

for me is....i want to watch X-FILES!screams

well,that's defintely is not Mulder or Scully's or some alien girl.
ignore the rest.i just cant help looking at all this clothes.sighs.

2008-07-22T19:46:00.002+08:00

today the lrt door closes in my face before i could get through it
and i know it's a bad omen.
endless say.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
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i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.
i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.i hate today.

2008-07-20T13:48:00.008+08:00

Forgotten

Have you forgotten
All this beauty around you
All your worries
Could easily fade behind you

Who is pulling you back
With such strength?
I hear you calling
Your voice is bright
You hear me calling back

After fighting
You're always right
You're always right
And I tried

Who is pulling me back
With such strength?
I hear you calling

enlarge it.u'll see my ketibas[ketiak-basah]
hahah!gross.but im feeling funky right now and wont mind ppl looking at it.

trap door

gate lift

time capsule of the year 3000

2008-07-19T07:33:00.006+08:00

*images that invoke.invoke a being.how delicious.god...deliciously bloody.delicious images.something woke up the horror*

it's 7.30 now.but i woke up at 6.30...i feel to crappy to sleep back.
and guess what??i receive Miriam's package.and inside it is an Eisregen CD.
holy omg crap!fuck,love it!wooh wooh wooh!
tt's for now..wanna watch their DVD.i guess i cant watch it infrnt of my parents
because im sure they'll throw the CD out the window.

***

heads lolled from side to side.neck cracked and face strained.hopefully the window did not crack against my skull[did i hit it in my half consciousness?]i'm a chicken ham.trapped between veggies and tomatoes and wholemeal bread.wow...it's like a combo meal and i love it all.i shall have carefree thoughts about how i am going to be eaten up.debris of sand from the sea seems invisible on my floor;but is,all over.oh did i tell you how i feel so connected to Robert Smith in Just Like Heaven?yes,i was there on the rocks,though what i really want for, is for God to give me a rocky cliff.wind in my fries.curly twirly fries.yahh...i snatch that name when i read it.it's so funny because after that i got a crave for it--till now.
*exasperated sighs* i shall wait for sch to re-open.

so monday.am i coming late for the first lesson of the first day of the first week???yes.though i wanted to start this semester good and new,i want to fetch my sis fm the airport!!!!gaaahhhh!

"ni mak tanye..kakak ok?besok berangkat dari sane what time?what time will u be reaching singapore?enough money?mum say be a beggar if u dont have any money left.haa..no la...she said take out money fm atm if u dont money left."

"Sq491,leaving ist @ 1.25pm.reach sin @ 7.30am on 21st July.will u b picking me?duit masih ade.Hari ni last min shopping @ grand bazaar. bnyk nice things.Guys here are good looking too,lol.im packing my bag now.going out again ltr."

GAHHHH!!i want to go ISTANBUL!and srsly,she should stay for another 5 days.just FIVE days to Metallica gig in Ist.ARGHH!!!kakak!??why don't you stay?? T.T"

i know you got school on tuesday,and got no money left..but it's METALLICA!!!dont you see that you're the biggest goddamn metallica fan here in Singapore??same with Abang??gagagagagagagaa!!i'll go nuts if i were you,kakak.

[woww...i got 3 rolls of film to wash.and 2 of them cost 24 bucks.one more is a diff kind...guess the OSC pictures have to wait :'/ cash cash cash...please drop in a suitcase full of it before me and i'll do praying under mountainous waterfall.enduring the cold.for like...5 mins?how about that?it's really long you know[whoever giving me the money],5 mins equals to 300 seconds.a 3 digit!!at Kota Tinggi???since it's the nearest waterfall here..unless you want me to go to the Wild Wild Wet???it's your choice;whoever giving me the money.]

2008-07-18T21:51:00.002+08:00

i hope you could forgive me.i've chipped off my thumb nails; doing it.i've not eaten dinner; doing it.i've not yet go to the toilet; doing it.having a major major headache;doing it.driving me nuts up the walls;doing it.i'm tired organising it;doing it.i'm really feeling pissed and fucked up with a whole load of Clowns.but above all,i hope you could forgive me...

why not sell yourself on eBay?
i really got to go toilet now.bye bye.

2008-07-17T21:40:00.009+08:00

went to the Old Supreme Court tour with my 2 cousins,Munir and Aishah.it's going to become a museum.so this tour is one of the last before they turn it into a museum and restrict the court rooms from the public.it's really awesome because we got to go into the prison cells.some of the cells used to occupy by murderers.of course,they are long gone[hanged] there's nothing but a bench and a little toilet hole.even the flush is outside their cells to limit them from ever hiding objects inside the cell.then we went up the stair and all to the court.oh boy there's a bat flying around our heads.yes.inside the building itself.there's the old kind of gate lifts,but it's not in use anymore.i was praying that we'd visit the hanging place itself.or maybe i could see the electric chair.sadly no.. :/ the place inside is really kind of creepy i would say.i could only dream.dream that it's my mansion.for me to do whatever i want.tt would be the ultimate wordly paradise for me.

they even have this memorial inside the building.and underneath this memorial,lies a time capsule.which will only be retrieved in the year 3000.well.i guess by tt time every traces of me,even my bones,will vanish into the earth,bcz from earth i'm born,and to earth i return.but then again...will there be an apocalypsed by then?if earth were to survive,i could imagine;me opening up the time capsule and beaming like it's the greatest birthday gift ever in the world.

i bought my Lomo camera.tee hee!cant wait to wash the picture at Parkway Parade[cousin said they wash 20cents for each picture.how cheap is that??:D] used the whole roll of film.bought the film which is tinted green a little.cant wait to see hw it all turn out.the 4 action i mean.i want a Fuji Polaroid and Holga next please.anw,my Lomo only cost 30 bucks.it looks like a kid toy.hey.dont underestimate 'kid's toy'.

2008-07-16T19:44:00.007+08:00

*hello dearest dollycan you see me here?will you come in my dreams???please?i beg you.*

[tt's Kyoru's doll ^^ ]

how can i say?...hmm...
i'm currently feeling that my energy being sucked out by me
too much laughter and talking.
like i said,it's over my laughing and talking quota for this 2 days.
making new friends are really great
but it's like the more i made,the more empty i feel.is that strange?
maybe bcz im losing some good friend,and i didnt denyit tt i feel really depressed about it,bt i feel happy for her.i am deeply truly happy bcz she got so much loved ones around her.maybe im just could not bring myself to go closer to her anymore.i'm so selfish to care aboutmy feelings and not others.im a faggot.

okok.sorry,i'm always gloomy.
i feel like nt talking to anyone except in msn or sms-es.
jokes will be laughed deep in me and not be seen.
i'm tired of talking and laughing already..i really am.
~~then again,does anyone love me?my family,my friends?do u love me?~~

2008-07-14T10:44:00.015+08:00

Mr Stress Ball squashed into a forced smile.pulled and stretched.clayed and masked.im feeling horrified.horrified that i have typical asian parents.they missed my sister badly.how am i going to run away???!im purely horrified i cant tell you what had happen;it's a mere joke,or is it?;because i feel like running screaming my head off now.
you know sometimes when we said something,it's the wrong thing;and you feel like smacking your head on the wall just as you hope by doing that,you or that person would forget the thing that you said. ...the rest will be left hanging like a phantom.

ystd at the zoo.
i stuffed Giffy[my bro's fav soft toy Giraffe] into his bag.

Giffy is so fat that Giffy's big nose sticks out.

He felt Giffy is too heavy to carry.[ridiculous,he's plain annoying and lazy]

So i fed Giffy to the crocodile.

uhhhh...from left,was trying to catch the waxing moon,but turn out like some haywire shooting star/trying to catch my face but it's blurred while the background is clear/view outside my window on a rainy cool day[my favorite kind of day] /and i didnt know,did AJ took this???i totally forgot/the picture on top is well,blur.i got a thing of shaky hands[HAHA] i should have chg the shutter speed.

i got no scanner and have to depend on taking a picture of the photos.

ew ew ew ew.

im so going to fucked up school.

*edited*

i didnt know if my previous post were mistook/misread.it's actually for Saint.well,whatever.im so screwed tomorrow for the orientation day.why am i in this again??i don't know myself.i was punishing myself for being so introvert so i join myself up.now all i want is to creep back into my hole and not have to wake up at 6 tomorrow morning.

(my unholy ranting.dont bother to read on)

ou know today morning im depressed that i'm here in Singapore.The government is trying to instill every child here into our culture.our roots.our identity.but what's our real identity??the government is trying to instill passion of Singapore's past.but what have the past got to do with us?how do we connect to the past when every historical building is torn down?every old tree pulled apart.i hate it that im in this DAT course and i have to instill this government garbage to my students.maybe the reason why i'm not proud to raise my flag is bcz of the government system here.it's a flaw.no freedom of speech.true.some groups of ppl will misuse it.bt without it,this place is just so so dull.

we're a bunch of monkeys of different species.the young trying to adopt western culture,the old trying to catch up with the young.what the fuck is our culture?!what?malay is a culture?malaysia already have the malay culture and are widely known.even indonesia.how about chinese?china had long started use chopsticks to eat dumplings.what indian?maybe Indian imigrants here do made the own Singapore tulang,that not even Malaysian have;but.other than that,it's the same?what the fuck is our own unique identity??

what are we compared to our neighbors.maybe they're right.we're just an irritating red pimple on the map of Asia.

our forefathers are just immigrants searching for a new place to feed their children.no one thought to stay here.till the government was established.

so i came to a conclusion.our culture is about "we are immigrants"

kristen holst gave me the answer.

it will make me satisfy;for a while.

http://www.kirstenholst.com/gallery/Travel/index.php?album=Singapore_Black__Whites&PHPSESSID=l7d4s92qrngc3qavsp7pbqf8h3

2008-07-13T11:39:00.015+08:00

i'm so freaking happy.
i found the movie that i watched and love so so much and been trying to find it and it's so hard and i finally found it.the french film oh Helena.SUBWAY.no wonder it's hard to find.the movie is made in 1985.helena is drop dead gorgeous.

collecting my photos now.

*2254hour*
to be is to do
Socrate
to do is to be
Satre
do be so be do
Sinatra

i dont know why im watching soap opera-like movies in this week.i feel so dramatic out of the wild sudden.and been watching back Leon:The Professional,Subway,SLC Punk,Amelie,When The Cats Away,The Sea Inside.anymore to add on to my list???i found Crystal River and Three And Out.i also found À la folie... pas du tout.yes i love foreign movie.hey ge tme right.FOREIGN MOVIES.USA [action packed shit like 007 or Wanted or even some cinderalla story when there's always a happy ending,but the happy ending that never touched a nerve in your system.dirty jokes either]is excluded.overall,yes.i love english movies.

i got the photos of my film.and when i checked,they didnt print 5 pictures!the one uma,anis and hud/the anis and the unicorn/me and anis.the rest of the pictures turn up like what i think amatuer photographers picture wuld be."blurred and blurred and blurred again" but some turn out goddamn lovely like the picture[i think anis took of me],hmm...and the pictures of the skies that i took.i got 3 new rolls of film and eaten up one at the zoo.

2008-07-12T11:25:00.004+08:00

it's morning,and im watching some punks,seeing how fucked up everything is,and lastly,growing up.
really really funny.
till part 10.on youtube.

*edited*
the part 6 of the SLC.hope it reach to ten anis!

2008-07-10T11:59:00.005+08:00

morning horror on youtube.Chainsaw Maid.

*sly smile* Eli's dirty joke

***
okay okay.i'm stuck watching the whole episode of ELi's dirty jokes.
and i found this hilarious!!

*Hi my name is Chuck,
I'm here for your duck
We are gonna fuck
Is it ready to cluck!*

2008-07-09T23:39:00.004+08:00

the book that you guys bought for me...well...it's always on my bed.And when i look at it,i turn to reach it and feel the symbol across the handsome leather.then i brought the book close to my chest.
I hear her voice,beat in my head.But what am i going to fill in her empty stomach?my mind is empty too.thank god for the invention of google/wiki/youtube.

went out.hud and uma bought their cams and the uncle said the other day suv and yash came to his shop too,to buy their cams.haha.the uncle got free advertising huh.now i finally got to take shots with my own minolta.bought TC and played it with anis and huda.maybe we still have to get used to it to feel it working for us.u get what i mean ;) anw,went into a shop.haha.but this shop is damn interesting bcz the main idea is a three letter word and also 2 rice bowls and carrots for bunnies in tight costumes.nvm if u dont get it...maybe anis will elaborate it..
off from the tube..out to the air.pictures.pitures of the wispy clouds and a crescent moon half visible in the twilight.cant wait to wash it weeeeeee!~

2008-07-08T21:29:00.004+08:00

emily's screenshot.i hope AJ and Didi and Gina put up their's XD
nyahaha.
got to go alligator
see ya ltr crocodile!

***
it's 11.33 in the morning on 9th July and i'm searching my ancient handphone which might be on the other side of my bed or anywhere since i last msg a person last night,bid goodnight,and throw it to one side,could not give a damn but to let the pillow catch my head...
hmmm :/ where is it..
anis just called to ask out.hahahh.she got to call my home since i didnt switch on my hp and i think my dad sort of 'entertained' her.thank god she didnt freaked out by my dad.sorry anis,my dad babble a lot that even my mum cant take it since he got his CPF[since he reached 56] XD lol

before that i was getting so exhilirated seeing pictures.make me want to swim in a sea of clothes and gadgets.what am i going to wear later?i'm plugging both psp and handphone to charge on my lappie.my mum warns me gadgets can burst into fire like a bomb if you overused it when i was young.will it?then i want to plug in more things here.

i nvr get the chance to say a trillion thanks to everyone for the countless birthday wish and presents and the birthday cake and the birthday card and the birthday surprise!hurrahhh!

2008-07-07T20:54:00.004+08:00

alright.i'm a youtube junkie.so is everyone.
found some awesome electronic bands a few weeks ago and some newer one today from the magazine i took.
i just got a fetish of black on very neon colors,robots,outer space,and spare parts.
well,i shall shut it,and just watch it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
trash it, change it, melt - upgrade it,
charge it, pawn it, zoom it, press it,
snap it, work it, quick - erase it,
write it, get it, paste it, save it,
load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,
plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,
lock it, fill it, curl it, find it,
view it, curl it, jam - unlock it,
surf it, scroll it, pose it, click it,
cross it, crack it, twitch - update it,
name it, read it, tune it, print it,
scan it, send it, fax - rename it,
touch it, bring it, obey it, watch it,
turn it, leave it, stop - format it.

Technologic, technologic, technologic, technologic.

through your eyes,i realise...

2008-07-06T23:38:00.010+08:00

-chuckles-yeapp..anyone wants to know something amusing?XD just now was on9 and i called anis.she told me that she dreamt of me.[more like a nightmare] she said that she,didi and all were vandalising my sketchbook,then i was super mad at them that i chased them around suntec city.she said she saw me in my creepers and my..uhh..outfit or something--chasing them,and i was running like super fast and they were running their ass off that they have to seperate around the mall trying to escape the wrath of Lenore's madness.[i imagine me as a dog and trying to bite their butts off o.0]hohoho...
hayiaaa anisss!!!...if ever one day u guys vandalise my sketchbook,i would be more than happy cz ur vandalismss is a superb form of art. ;P then i shall quickly sign as my work so the lecturers will give me an 'A' rofl.

hmm...peach tea is the greatest.and dont ask me what i did this days.because i guess someone knocked me out and i woke up sunday.why am i in a black mood?like everyday?omgg...i lack of social skills.i cant even stand to smile for long.no.it's not that.i just have a very weird sense of humor.yes.i think i horrify people when i burst out laughing out of the sudden.-and i laugh hysterically at the joke and people would just stare at me [uhhhhhh....why is she laughing?] and i would see their confused face trying to make out what's so funny.

dearest far and shashah treat me.thanks so so much.though i would love for us to hang out longer;the presence of you guys just shows that you do care for me. :) if u guys put up those funny pictures that we took,you have my outmost permission.just dont allow comments.lol.i dont think i'd put it.because i feel like i always look funny on my birthday and also on hari raya.
i bought the cure tee .i bought the cure tee.i bought the cure tee.i bought the cure tee.
went to changi beach for the last minute family gathering.cousin never really talk to me.cousin thinks i'm some artist lunatic.cousin thinks im narrow minded.i think cousin is the one not me.i think i could not give a damn what cousin thinks.cousin could not give a damn what i think.i think to lay things off.i'm tired and sick of all this.end of story.bye bye.

i think it's safe for me to write it here since i dont think you will read this.it make me want to tear because i wore my specs today;because i hope to catch some sunlight;because i wish to glint off people to make eye contact with me;because dont wish to open this window of my soul to others;because i dont wish people to see my naked eye;because i just have no self confidence in myself.what makes it so painful is that you look beyond that.the look in your eyes is that what i had never seen before.and then,how a simple question is what it takes to unlock the door.my windows burst open to embrace the warmth light in the words.i wish i could be as superheroic like you.i want to have the pleasure of just asking someone casually that question... "Are you okay?" and you would keep repeating it to me till i broke lose.why?why is it you?

are you the damned?i am The Damned.
*till now i cant find Beauty Of The Beast in any site :/ *
it's been a year since i listen to this.i love it always.u bad ass vampire.

*TAKE THIS AWESOME SHIT!*

Ladies and gentlemen...how do.

Hey man, what's happening?

I'll be the ticket if you're my collector
I've charge the fare if you're my inspector
I'll be the luggage if you'll be the porter
I'll be the parcel if you'll be my sorter

Just for you here's a love song
Just for you here's a love song
And it makes me glad to say
It's been a lovely day
And it's okay

I'll be the mail you'll be the guard
I'll be the ink on your season ticket card
I'll be the rubbish you'll be the bin
I'll be the paint on the sign if you'll be the tin

Just for you here's a love song
Just for you here's a love song
And it makes me glad to say
It's been a lovely day
And it's okay

2008-07-04T01:17:00.009+08:00

today i'm exhausted PHYSICALLY[because i have the worst workout of my life],Emotionally[humiliated in public]-by asking ppl to honk if we're hot.Fucking Race.the skin on my feet is looking thin.ouch.bastard blisters.hope gina alright...

it's not just a celebration for her,but also the three person,that brought her into this world.even if this world had not given her much happiness,she's happy with simple pleasures.she knew that she's a slave to the third but was brought up with care by the first and second.but to only found out in dismay that care brought love and what it did was nothing to leave her heart full;but famished.beneath that soft velvet touch she had laid out diamonds.world pocession had sometimes bored her out. she just could not wait for her desmise.the uncertainty left her breathless. Yet the cup is not full to the brim.so she shall stay,like some ghostly phantom among mortals.

the number 3,stands for 3pm in the bible.but it stands for 3 am to me.nadiah reminded me that.lol.it's when i first came out to play 18 years ago exactly from now...my faith never will mislead me.

okay i know im nuts.haha!like what im trying to say here is like what--?i'm a some demon baby born in 3am?[253am to be exact] rofll..ok.i feel drunk even went im not.my sister had gone to leave for turkey.hoho.one less ppl to quarrel with,one less person[equals to no ppl] to share my room with.one less ppl in the car seat so i can sprawl how i always like in the car,one less ppl using the bathroom,one less ppl using my printer to print stuffs[rofl],one less ppl in the cinema sit,one less ppl disgusted in sharing stuff with me,one less person...but she'll be back when the day school reopens.by that time,she'll buy me dozens of postcards that i asked her for.more than her friends.and take for me pictures of Hagia Sophia from all angles.1 degree per time for the whole 360 degrees.not to mention the top of the dome and the interior.nope.not until when i didnt help her print the stuff because i was super pissed with my camera.

i've failed countless.so by now i had promised no one shall ever see my eyes wet.eww i hate getting my eyes wet because it makes me feel like a total pure loser.anyway,i'm too tired to feel.since the call,i never sit down and cry too.no way.i shall write a note and stick it on the wall because i cant get it out.or i shall blow it into my balloon.blow it everytime and smack it to your face.anyone's that's in my way.let the balloon burst in your face.then you'll feel the chilli powder and onions that i blow inside the balloon and let your eyes tear instead.stress ball squeeze balls squashed.

sorry i'm babbling.and anis.if u ever think that this is a poem,eventhough i actually wanted to put it in spaces,it's not.see how a lousy poet i am?;) fuck anak seni!i wanna rape the world!
and i shall shout this words out like how fucking rafaat hamzah tell me to do from the tv commercial.to revoultionariez art in singapore.well fuck you.could i turn a bad word into a curtsy?

and sorry that i've not replied you guys the sms and birthday wish..i'm on high under the water.
hahak!jeanne confessed something to me XD
here's some videos that i'd like to share too.i love nadiah's and diana's youtube videos!!current band craze:dead can dance

rohaishah had told me to chg my tagboard cz she cant tag me 'happy bthday' on it.so i promised to write her name here to say that she did rmb it.lol.and thanks Nad and Genie for acc me this morning!!6 more mins!

[dont even bother to read on]

Sail on silver wings
Through this storm
What fortune love may bring
Back to my arms again
The love of a former golden age.
I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take.
For, now that wheels are turning,
I find my faith deserting me...

This night is filled with cries of
Dispossesed children in search of Paradise.
A sign of unresolve that,
Envisioned, drives the pinwheel on-and-on.
I am disabled by fears concerning which course to take.
When memory bears witness to
The innocence, consumed in dying rage!

The way lies through our love;
There can be no other means to the end,
Or keys to my heart...
You will never find.
You will never find!

2008-07-01T20:02:00.011+08:00

that's my 35mm SLR..and my loveeely new camera.bt,i looks way newer than i that photo[found it in wiki].so here you have it kenneth.the printing papers me and anis hadnot bought it yet.straightaway go funan to eat lunch and go penin to search for the cam.plus our lens,batteries,rens reflex[or is it called that?i'm making a wild guess.it's for protecting the lens from UV rays and scratches],cost us 300bucks altogether.but our's is not 2nd hand.i wonder how much our classmates are buying them for..i love my minolta because it's vinhinhintagee!then we went out of the shop and anis bought a DM.damn fuck it's cool.and plus it looks good on her. ^^

she bought jeans.i tried jeans.the uncle is dumb.finally got one.bought studs for my lacoste too.and some pendent ;P went to put on the studs and the thing poke under my fingernail.and there's like internal bleeding under my nail.yes it hurts ofcourse.but im far from dead.
oh yea.before that was under phantom's block to show my drawings and phantom love the drawing the armour guy out of the flames.im glad phantom like it.phantom lend me his sketch book[which is really Sharifah's old unused madrasah exercise book haha!!] i told phantom not to chg clothes[what i meant was 'not to change into outside clothes] so phantom came down in home old old apek shorts T.T"

yay!!new dvds to watch.many dvds to watch.im gonna scare myself and shit on my couch watching horror flicks.
tata.

ystd was great hanging out at mel's house.watched Juno.and her glad is hot.
rofl-ing at my cousin's blog.GAGAGAGA.
dont u think AJ look great??:D

2008-06-29T20:52:00.002+08:00

i promise not to look out of the window-any window anymore
because everytime i look out i see things that triggered me.
back then i saw a Saint waiting for the carriage to bring him to Church.
then yesterday i saw a Joker in red crossing my path...

2008-06-27T11:09:00.005+08:00

i have to close my window shut at night for there's the presence of household lizards or grasshoppers[i wonder how it gets to my 13th storey window].i hate my room because i had no air-con.it's 'too far away' from the rest of the bedrooms.so i turned the fan on full blast.woke up sore all over from the dead mattress and lumpy pillow.been complaining for The Authority[that is,my dad] to change the godforsaken mattress.the spring is poking me,i swear.The Authority said to wait for him to get the karong guni to sell away the mattress.by that time,you shall hear my bones cracking from behind your toilet door as u brush your teeth.i have to close the windows because im scared of the too-folk-but-true stories about how insects go inside this man's ears and lay eggs inside.the best thing is that he didnt even know it.
shoo away the nocturnal creatures.predators of people's holes.
don't bother me.

***2248hours.
my all-time fav Frankenweenie.the story of the dead dog that was brought back to life

love my lacoste

2008-06-26T10:16:00.017+08:00

there's a large grasshopper stuck amongst my curtain and is making buzzing noises.im so petrified.someone get rid of it because i tried to get it in my hands in some unused paper but it make that buzzing sound again--EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

2008-06-24T11:43:00.001+08:00

The Danish Poet.
-baby's are actually little seeds floating around in space..waiting to be brought down to earth.by the meeting of their parents---

my evening star,
leave this room empty.the room that used to occupy us.go into the next room.a new and better room.you'll find someone in there to start in a new room.but sometimes all that you had built,you had to leave it behind one day.but when you leave,never regret.you had taken something with you.a picture of the room that u left behind;is meant to be kept safely in your shirt's breast pocket.lock the door.just know that the next room will be even better.
as for me,i'm doing fine running around in the hallway

2008-06-23T10:55:00.018+08:00

edited"2024hours"

im lazy.i didnt even use pencil for the rough sketch but straight to my black pen(top)

it was that night when the moon was so yellow like the moon in the previous post.i just wish i have a Canon Eos or Nikon with me so SO SO very badly to capture that round beautiful thing that's glowing among stars.was sad that i could not catch the moon in my hands but was greeted with the sight of 4 cats that came to me meowing and purring and i squatted to play with them all.they're hungry.but i cant do anything but stroke their fur that they stayed with me.lovingly rubbing against my feet so many times purring.
"Mother...can i have a kitty??" :/

i dreamt that i was hugging Ellen for no fucking reason.maybe because i like her show.the ellen sleeveskin and all...and i dreamt that i was talking to a girl that had her mouth pierced[i think the girl is the girl in my blogskin background]i was asking her does it hurt.but she said it was awesome.i dont really understand what she meant by 'awesome'.as in,it's awesome that it doesn't hurt or 'awesome' that the stud and all was awesome ??? but she was smiling from ear to ear with her stud under her mouth that i think it was awesome too.so i went in the piercing shop to get my pierce too.i think the girl in the background have a pretty back view.i woke up wanting that piercing.aw man.i shall think it through.shall think it real through.

my sister is leaving for Turkey on July 3.i asked her for lots of postcards and tell her to take lots of pictures[of the scenery,not her] so i can edit it.i wish i know astral travel.i want to astral travel all around the world.

talking about that.my aunt and uncle are coming back today from Umrah.it's like super fast that they're back.so my cousin.2 years older than me,hm...wont have to cry for his parents anymore...
...boyssss...donnnnt...crrrry... :X

2008-06-22T00:05:00.005+08:00

this mushrooms will blossom in my field like diamonds on white puffy clouds...

i shall paint pictures in the sea itself,my masterpiece of humanity's lifetime...

and the moon shall stare at me lovingly with sweetness that i want to swallow it whole...

the cats that i played with tonight.companions of my whole life..

2008-06-15T12:44:00.009+08:00

--1851--

yes.as anis said.she had finally talked to a sane person.it's good to talk to you too anis ;)incredible hulk was great last saturday.charlie and the chocolate factory watched for the dozenth time and sweeny todd watched for the third time again.refreshing of memory of the script and images.kungfu panda was hahahahh.Po is cute.buy Po soft toy for 19.90 let he sit on your head and squeeze all your brain juice out.

but it make me think more lazing around for days and then i just realised that im the jack of all trades.I have sold my soul.Sold my soul.so what more cant they asked for..?
Seemons is in a coven that Seemons is so familiar with.so popular for that Seemons will look down upon Seemons.Seemons wants Seemons to look up to Seemons as a God.unless the Seemons live up to Seemons beliefs.then Seemons will accept Seemons as one of them.one particular Seemons just don't want too.Seemons is her own God.what will Seemons's fate end Seemons?but either way Seemons will not wilt.

fuck blogger for failure to uploading pictures

*edits*

something that i did less than an hour ago that amuses me till now was that i jogged.yes.since the last time i've ever ran was like in sec 4 because i was forced too;for NAPFA and even so,i failed by a minute,but sweet Mr Nasri let me off;but then again if if he wouldn't i could not give a fuck.well,what made me jogged today was when i looked out of the window and the sky was beautifully gray and i want to take fresh air.thank god i live in punggol.so wore my old PE pants,since i have no other sports shorts,a baggy black shirt and my mum's running shoes.fuck,it looks ugly,but fuck it.im hilarious.a few minutes of running make me breathless and stopping to take raspy breaths,i saw the house.i want to go in.i really want to.but she said i cant.hmm..maybe the next time i shall fight over her and really go to that house.but i cant fight her because my head is starting to throb like my heart is in my brain and my brain in my chest.vice versa.

*the drawing i made of a metaldude stepping on someone's*a particular someone's head* can anyone guess??? :D there's no right or wrong!

edited for the secondth time*

2008-06-13T16:20:00.012+08:00

-plague-

<--too complicated for a t-shirt cover.

<--too common?

i mean hey..a metalhead with leather jacket,spiked boots,chain and the devil's sign?

blahh.

should i put war paint on his cheek like i was suggested?alright.maybe a kind of war-metalhead.

my new drawing??well,it's this metalhead[of course it's a metal head since im designing for deh metah bangh] but my new drawing is a metal dude with the flying V guitar and another hand pointing a middle fingeh and someone's[a particular someone] head that the metaldude will step on.yeap.only the head.nothign but that particular someone's head and a lot of blood.it's going to be awesome.it's not gore.you guys should have seen Cannibal Corpse's CDs artwork.anw,the public is saying that the commercial about "saving gaia".the one that shows a boy doll with tar and saw and stuff,is gore?im going to laugh.i mean,they said that the cigarette packs have images that will discourage smokers from smoking?oh come on!like i see a lot of smokers still around.alive and kicking smokers.oh wells.mother earth.a big kiss goodbye to you??.... ....

*oh!i know what to add alrdy to make everyone remember!!*

Eee Eooh Zoo.it's tea-time.

that's polar bear,Giffy and Mystery(clockwise)

mystery is my pet cat -meow!-

too shy to face the camera and also 'half-showing' off her tattoo on her butt.

HAPPY FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN.

i'm feeling deranged and felt like i want to go against the world.why cant i go against the law and create my own rules?why cant i go against the society or even the change the law of physics?why must 1 plus 1 equals to 2?why must earth have gravity when i want to float up in the sky and go to space and through the black hole into a new dimension.maybe into a dimension called the "6th or 7th or 8th dimension etc".then i will dwell with other living things in this new dimension.maybe they might be even more civilised than human beings and human beings may be considered barbaric since we got 7000 years of civilisation maybe in this new worlds i might discovered they would have millions of years of advancement. gosh i'm so sick of black now.i want a darker color than black.black on black.yea i should try that.but as much as i spurt out black paint on black paint,i still got black.god!i'm sick of black like her. and also,i feel Friday The Thirteen is a stupid day.well,at least for me.since i got no thrills just drills.drilling in my pounding head.for a quater pounder meat in my head that i call,my brain.yes.you can eat your own brain.well,at least,that's how they showed me.just dont vomit like i did.

*fools imagine beyond imagination*

2008-06-11T20:23:00.004+08:00

so tuesday.i ended up vomitting in the mrt platform floor and sidewalk drain.taufiq was with me.god...it was horrible to have you stomach turned upside down in public.im so phobia of creamy pasta.eww.i was sick that whole day after lunch and yesterday i still stayed in bed to rest.

2008-06-08T20:12:00.006+08:00

The black house in in my street
looks too dark just to go inside
But when I do
I cannot move because of
the mess in the hallway

The picture on the wall is chaotic
I don't want to look at it
But when I do
I cannot speak because of
the confusion in my head

I am unfit and I want to leap away
But when I do
The red colour comes after me
It is fierce and it moves slow

The picture on the wall is chaotic
I don't want to look at it
But when I do
I cannot speak because of
the confusion in my head

I am unfit and I want to leap away
But when I do
The red colour comes after me
It is fierce and it moves slow

i guess im a pioneer at keeping silent when i want to.

im starting on a new project to create a band logo & t-shirt for-lemme see--
(tear open my bag and ripped the paper out of my bag)--
PLAGUE OF THORrrrr*hisses*
yea.i met Phantom to get the rough drawing that he made
and it looks like..

that!haha

anw,dude.your metalhead cartoon character really like you uh
when you smash your bass infrnt of me.
do listen to my new craze.

Towards the light
I will move on
And so I learn to move
The one before the next
The steps I take
Will pave the road ahead of me

I awoke this morning
Wondering if I was alive
My head was spinning in circles
Turning to the other side

Bare and broken i hold on to walk

I stumbled over my body
I stumbled over my words
On control upon all wasted
As if I were beyond belief

Bare and broken I hold on to walk

Towards the light
I will walk

Faster than
The speed of mind
Both my arms are wrapped around
This new experience
My head in clouds
My feet firmly on the ground

Towards the light
I will walk
And wrapped my arms around the ground
Beneath my feet
Towards the light
I will run
Towards the light

from the land of mist and snow

2008-06-08T11:36:00.006+08:00

One after one by the star dogged moon,
too quick for groan or sigh.
Each turned his face with a ghastly pang
and cursed me with his eye.
Four times fifty living men
(and I heard nor sigh nor groan).
With heavy thump, a lifeless lump,
they dropped down one by one.

(fourty times fifty living men) the magical number.

she rose from the dead,the queen
glittery white moonshine
beads of sweat with a gasp
she got chills throughout her fragile frame,
as it starts from her head
violent shivers swaying the trees
have you feel this feeling before?
(fourty times fifty living men) inside of me.
(fourty times fifty living);a terrible curse.
cadaverous face, haunts me into illusional nightmare.
staring at me.
boring her eccentric eyes onto me.
mesmerizing me into hallucination.
giddyness.
i could see the beauty of it.

2008-06-06T21:11:00.007+08:00

random.

uma & shashah

2008-06-03T20:29:00.005+08:00

KAMIKAZE GIRLSSSS KAWAII

shashah edited that picture.

2008-06-02T18:48:00.003+08:00

i love old people who dress like that.

Av og til føler meg jeg at dette forholdet er en feil.gjør som du føler den samme måten ? fordi jeg er ikke sikker hvis jeg hadde virkelig flyttet på eller ikke.når u som ha blitt først kommet inn i mitt liv, var jeg type av desperat for noe type av en støtte.når jeg gjennomsøkte, var jeg følelse tapt og ensom.det var morsom at da jeg først sagå din foto, trodde jeg deg var noe håpløs emo kar.men da jeg forsto at du er noen med en virkelig liv.anbringer til side at dumt først merke av du.jeg ikke vet hva jeg gjorde og kunner som jeg ville var en best karvenn til å dele denne fucked opp liv Finn det hard.. da jeg gjetter deg vet at jeg var type av føleen av litt bisexual da.jeg kunne ikke snakke med Uma også du vet, av og til jeg føler meg som jeg er akkurat akkurat som min gammel primær skole den beste vennen.hun tror alltid at jeg er ikke kjølig nok for henne.hun var alltid bedre enn meg.alltid elsket og bekymret seg ved slik mange folk.jeg er alltid den svarte sauen til nå.det ydmyket.jeg gjetter deg hadde aldri vet om at del av mitt liv. likevel, jeg førte den luften av arrogant og kastet det kunner til Uma.Det var fordi at hun hadde den selv-tilliten som er Føl seg som den smarte piken i verdenen (skjønt kunne hun være gal av og til) jeg misunner hennes selv-tillit. jeg vil at til å noen ta mitt sinn av fra slaget av heartache fra Kamal.Jeg var til å desperat glemme min først kjærlighet...det er det samme med deg og Hannah.Hun er din først kjærlighet.en som hennes navn overalt.selv når som du er med meg. somethimes, undrer jeg meg hva du tror.det har ikke laget meg sint -- ingen.jeg skal tale den sannhet.det lager meg frustrerte at jeg kunne ikke få nær til deg i din hjerte.slik da jeg nådde hjem everytime, skal jeg Rifter felle.da som jeg skal stirre på taket til utmattingssvinger meg inn i søvn.når jeg stirret på taket, tenker jeg på alle de forskjellige måtene til å lage deg gløder. jeg vil lage deg glad.og også jeg vil lage oss glad. da, føler jeg pressured fordi, jeg var ikke virkelig en morsom person afterall.jeg føler pressured på å være noen din venner liker.men av og til, du dont selv vet hvem min virkelig venn are.jeg synes at jeg hadde sjeldent samtale om min fortid, foruten mitt liv med du.som er godt i en måte, men kan ha splittet personlighet, sprekk inn i to, som Uma seg selv sagt.men hvilket hvis jeg hadde mange personligheter.mer enn 2 ? hva hvis kunner av dem er mørk og å ruging ? flimmeret av ren uskyldig lykke hadde omkring fire år ikke dødd ut innside av meg var siden.jeg vet hvor det drog. ..all som jeg vil er noen til å finne bak den lykken begravde dyp inne i meg.fordi jeg Det.men som den siste veggen akkurat ville ikke rokke for du. det er ikke din feil min kjær. ..maybe som det ville rokke etter et par år.men hus at vi en gang oss lovet ikke til å forlate hverandre høy og tørr ? kanskje du har rett da du sa at jeg er ond.kanskje som jeg er ond for følelse på den måten til uma.kanskje jeg er ond til å føle den sjalusi.kanskje som jeg er ond til å sette deg befrir.gjør som du vil meg og du.kanskje som vi vil møtes i det neste romet som godt venner, hvis vi enda kunne være en.. eller kanskje du vil havne i et rom hvor det er Hannah vente på deg til å bruke evigheten med.. mitt blindlokkshjerte føler at kanskje hun stille til å håper være med deg etter kommentaren hun gir seg til du.kanskje det er oss som ikke hatt noen.evighet forteller meg Er i tvil. jeg føler meg at det er slik mange ganger som jeg hadde hopp av kanten av et bygger men hvert måte, plukke meg ville jeg opp igjen.du er den søteste og meste sanneste karen til meg.du ville alltid være i meg for den resten av min liv.kanskje da, vil du til å slutte føle de usikkerhetene om din fysisk egenskaper.kanskje da, jeg ikke hadde til å noen minne meg av Som alle elsker det.forteller meg, drømgutt. ..i kjærlighet du derfor mye.

2008-05-31T19:54:00.004+08:00

my mum,bro & sis went out to science centre today & had not yet returned[hoho!how fun.lolss XD] i wish they come back soon because i'm ultra hungry[if there's such a word for 'ultra' & 'hungry'].wait a minute,i shall look into the kitchen... ... ...yay!!i found spicy macaroni!my mum didnt left me starving after all.

it's been a few days that i went online & decided "hey!i want to update my blog." too much thoughts running but when i finally logged in & ----stared at the screen.like "oh nvm.i shall share my days with other ppl another day" though my days weren't that great or awesome that i needed or give a damn to share with.

ya.today,is me,fizza & shana's first working day as officials for the shopping sprint competition.firstly,the funny thing was we're outside The Browhaus.i was looking through the menu for a brazilian wax,thinking of anis,maybe could check the price out for her.when we're outside Guess.& i made a bad joke about waxing this 'dude's' leg hair. T.T" okay...it's just A JOKE.but though it still sounds very bad since the dude is our colleague.no no!i got nothing against him.it's because The Browhaus offers waxing & the first thing i saw when i turned around was his legs.then they laughed.& fizza said if there's enough chest hair,can rip an "I LOVE YOU" on it.we broke into guffaws.then i was quickly mumbling about this funniest home videos i watch on tv.this guy proposed to his gf by shaving his hairs on his back into "MARRY ME?" & the girl broke into happy tears.but then fizza said the first thing,if ever a guy did that to her,her reaction would be "EWW!wtf?so hairy!" i crouched laughing.bcz i realised that her laugh makes it all more funnier[i got certain reactions to different types of laughter.& plus it's not just the current joke that's running through my sick head but also my imagination.private joke.nevermind...shall drop this topic.people will think im nuts.so move on to the next topic.

we heard a slam & turned to see a woman FLAT on the floor with both her shoes a few steps back away.we dont know how she fall but to be sure,she looks like she wants to be superwoman since her hands are spread out[maybe because she tried to save herself ,but fails...] sighs.her husband pulled her up.and god!...u must see how pissed her face was!she's like falling tiger[thus] flaming dragon.u know...that kind of face when u could not/would not dare laugh straightaway when u look at her fall.she must be yelling at her husband & pulling his ears when they come back home.nevermind.shall drop this topic too.move on to the next crazy thing.

i was drinking coke when i heard a joke.inspite trying to control my laughter,i failed.so the coke went up my windpipe & through my nose.fuck.it's painful okay!but was super funny.i could see the coke burst out of my nose like a water pipe.& cant help laughing so the rest of the coke went out of my mouth.gruesome sight.i wish no one sees it.ever.but shana & fizza did see it.lol.eh eh.free freak show.not spaghetti or baby snake that comes out from your mouth to your nose,but coke.lol.gross.

dont ever go to La Senza at Suntec City because the salesgirls there are all malay.& they dont know how to speak proper english.& results to malay minah speaking.i got to admit that i laughed at them when the girl exclaimed "eh!we win ehh?we win?" win kepale otak ah..loll T.T"
it's the contestant that will win if they finish the race,not you...sighs.she was struggling to pronounce "The Great Shopping Sprint" like "ape tu?the...great shopping 'print?sprint?sprrintt?" sighs...

okay.maybe by reading this entry,u'll see other sides of what's going through my head.but anyway.forget about my dumb day.i got myself a black dress last week.bracelet today.i want the thing.the thing that costs 55bucks at atsuki.& also this black leatherish bag.i counted that i could get over 100bucks by the end of the month with the next month's pay tee hee..all this 7 paragraphs are a waste of time reading.better buzz off.

2008-05-28T10:23:00.007+08:00

presenting.futuristic robotic man.

Kraftwerk - We are the robots - Kraftwerk

edited:imoffbuyingsodapopsinkwik-e-mart

i love stray cats & puddles of water.

2008-05-27T19:33:00.005+08:00

random post:

mum was super happy today with her 'treasures' that she found in ikea.she wanted a blanket.& from $18,she found another one tt costs $9 to an even better one on the way when we walk that cost even cheaper.$4. XD than she wanted to buy a floor rag to put in the kicthen,it costs $8 for a small white one.than after which we walk further in ikea,we found one tt cost $3 & it's dark in color so it wont get dirty easily,plus it's larger.she laughed saying about how funny that ikea is offering her something that became so cheap.& she said that it's too bad that ikea had 'lost' a few more dollars from her.loll.

i was super happy too.go go ga ga over the furnitures.but ended up on an art shopping trip.[damn i want those neon color paints they had] so i bought that large paper roll & a hard cover purple sketchbook.[i want the red one too] & for a WHOLE roll of paper,it costs only $7.90.while for the hardcover bind sketchbook,it's only $5.90--compared to the Dalwer Rowney tt costs 10bucks+++...--

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